But I am just miserable there. I could literally put in half the amount of effort I do and still be doing "my job". But as I've stated before I have to put everything I can into everything I do, so it wouldn't be enough. I consider myself a patient person, but I can't even give strangers those 'fake happy' smiles as they pass anymore. After working rush hour shifts over Easter weekend, my back is killing me, I'm still exhausted a day later, and I've got a sunburn everywhere a t-shirt doesn't cover (though I admit I'm partially to blame on that front).
I walked up to my boss yesterday to tell her I was going to put my two weeks in, and she said she knew it was coming. The only reasons I didn't quit months ago was because I could listen to audiobooks, I don't have another job set up, and there are a few people there I do like. But it isn't worth it anymore.
When ten people per minute are walking in demanding carts and I have to be called away to clean up bathrooms (it's awful. People miss.) and spills of who-knows-what, when I already can't keep up with the cart demand, I do not need that stress. And on top of that, because there were times where I actually did run out of carts, I would be virtually guaranteed to not be thanked for the amount of work I put in because obviously if I run out I'm not working hard enough. And in everybody else's eyes, if there are carts in the store, the cart attendant doesn't need help. Even if I'm on break watching as every last cart gets taken away, it's my fault for not stocking up in preparation for my break. I could count on one hand the number of people that aren't cart attendants that know what we go through.
It isn't always like this. When there is no upcoming holiday and you're closing on a week night, it could easily be dead by nine, giving you two full hours to do everything you still need to do. Those shifts are the ones worth minimum wage. If those shifts were the only things I had to do, I may even be happy with my job.
So, even if it means I won't have a job for a few months, I'm done. I'll miss the expendable income, of course, but I really don't need it, as I'm a college student living with my parents. I won't consider myself a failure until I finish college and don't have a sustainable income by then. I still have no idea how I'm going to get there, but I know that I'm the kind of person that can get there.