But this also comes with cons. First off, I've literally never been away from home for that amount of time. Almost combined, in fact. I don't think I've spent longer than ten weeks total outside my home county. I don't know if I'm ready to handle that, because it isn't a vacation. I won't be relaxing. I would be teaching the whole time, and even when I'm not I won't have a room to myself (not that that's any different from normal). I get the impression that the only alone time I would ever have is in the bathroom, and every other moment of waking hours I will be surrounded by people I don't know. I couldn't even function properly after spending two days with my sister's children.
I'm also leaving a lot of things here. I just joined a writer's group. I can't just say "Hold on, I'm going to miss the first seven or eight weeks I'm a member but I am totally interested I promise". I'm also leaving my improv troupe. I'm still largely holding it together, and while I don't think they would fall apart without me, it obviously wouldn't function as well without a coach.
I've also explained that I don't want to drop what I'm doing (writing) to do something I may or may not enjoy. I don't want a job I don't like, especially since I don't need money. And I especially don't want that job if it means I can't write. I don't even know if I would be able to keep up with the daily blog during that time, and I certainly wouldn't be able to write fiction outside of it.
And yet this is still a wonderful opportunity. Redwood forests are breathtaking, and having only been to one once, I would love to go again. Also, I would be getting free formal training in archery, which is something that would be invaluable for my writing. If I wanted to get it elsewhere I would have to pay for it. Lastly, this is an annual sort of thing. There is a chance, though I have no idea how high it is, that I will be able to do this next year, perhaps when I'm more grounded and will have a better understanding of things.
I still don't know what I'm going to do. I have to decide in a few days, and with important things like this, I'm afraid that regardless of what I choose to do, the decision I make will be the wrong one. Would I regret going by way of suffering exhausting work I'm not well suited for? Or will I always remember what I could have done? I try to gauge how future me will judge the decision, but of course its not easy to decide without knowledge of the future.
So, future me, if I made the wrong choice, I apologize. I'm only doing the best I can.